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 The truth about SOB !!

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TADDEUS
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PostSubject: The truth about SOB !!   Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:48 pm

The truth about SOB

This is a conversation between Daron and his cock, called Schnibbel (Schnibbel in German means something like ďsmall partĒ).
Daron and John are invited to a TV studio for an interview. John is late Ė as usual Ė and Daron is sitting backdtage, waiting for him and for the interview to start. Suddenly he hears a tiny voice out of his pants.

Schnibbel: Hey, man! Hey! Here!
Daron: (looks around confused) What the fuck...?
Schnibbel: Hey, motherfucker, Iím down here! In your pants!
Daron: What? Hey, wait, is this my fucking dick talking to me?
Schnibbel: Yeah, sure. Dicks can always talk, usually we just donít show it.
Daron: This is sick! Totally! I should really quit drugs.
Schnibbel: You should get used to it, asshole, Iíve been quiet for much too long. Now things are gonna change. Now Iím giving the orders, do you get me?
Daron: Hahaha, I always knew my fucking cock determines my life, but now youíre going way too far, dude.
Schnibbel: You donít even know what that is, going too far, man. Listen, first of all I wanna show everyone that Iíve got a voice. When youíre recording your SOB album, Iíll be the singer, not you.
Daron: (breaks down laughing) Hahaha, dude, you are fucking hilarious...
Schnibbel: Iím not joking, asshole.
Daron: Youíre seriously thinking that Iíll let you sing? No fucking way!
Schnibbel: Why not? It canít be worse than your own voice, can it?
Daron: (angry) Oh wait... (unzips his pants, grasps Schnibbel and twists it)... ouch, fuck, that hurts, damnit!
Schnibbel: You canít hurt me, dumbass, Iím a part of your body, remember?
Daron: Fuck! But I will never let you sing, Iím the lead singer in SOB, I always wanted to be, thatís why I started SOB at all. No more fucking Serj, just me!
Schnibbel: Okay. Then Iíll never grow hard again.
Daron: (desperate) No! You canít do that!
Schnibbel: I can! And I bet Jessica and all the other chicks will be quite disappointed. At first, they are disappointed and then theyíll laugh at you and call you names.
Daron: You fucking asshole, Iíll kill you!
Schnibbel: Hahaha!
Daron: (sighs) Okay, okay. Youíll be he fucking singer. But you gotta promise that youíll not let me down when I need you, man.
Schnibbel: Maybe... if...
Daron: If what?
Schnibbel: You gotta tell the whole world that Iím the voice of SOB. Today, right here, on TV.
Daron: (angry) What? No never! Damnit, the whole fucking world will laugh at me!
Schnibbel: In case you havenít realized, everyone is already making fun of you, so what?!
Daron: Iíll kick your fucking ass!
Schnibbel: I donít even have an ass, motherfucker! Youíre so stupid!
Daron: Come on, dude, donít do that to me! I canít go out there and tell itís my fucking cock singing. I simply canít!
Schnibbel: Then youíll never be able to have real sex again in your entire life.
Daron: (sighs) Why me, why? Why does this fucking world hate me?
Schnibbel: You ask me why? Damnit, Iím stuck to your body for your whole life, dumbass, I should be the one who is desperate, huh?
Daron: Shut up...
Schnibbel: Itís up to you...
John walks in.
John: Damnit, Daron, do you have to play with your dick wherever you are?
Daron: Uhm... I didnít... I was just...
John: I know what you were. Horny, as usual. Now put this away and come on, weíre late already.

The TV guy welcomes John and Daron. They sit down on a couch and the cameras start recording.
TV guy: My guests tonight are Daron Malakian and John Dolmayan, two famous musicians who are known as members of the metal band SOAD. Since SOAD is still on hiatus, weíre not gonna talk about them but about John and Daronís new band, SOB. But first of all, welcome Daron and John, nice to meet you guys.
John: Hello.
Daron: Hi.
TV guy: So... your new band, this is what everybody wants to hear about. I guess itís pretty different for you, Daron, since you are the lead singer now, in SOAD youíve mainly played the guitar...
Daron: I gotta interrupt you right there, man, thatís not true anymore Ďcause weíve changed our plans a little...
John: (confused) What the fuck?!...
Daron: ... and Iím no longer the lead singer in SOB, iís my cock from now on (gets up, unzips his pants and takes out Schnibbel) this is Schnibbel, the real voice of SOB.
TV guy: Shocked
John: (angry) Oh no, Daron, fuck you, not again!




Just to make it clear: this is NOT meant to offend Daron, itís just a somehow funny fan fic, if you donít like it, just forget youíve read it !! Razz
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athlor
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:53 pm

lol
nice story Smile
I liked it xD
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Patrick Star
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:01 pm

That is so hilarious, i still laugh Laughing
And John's reaction....indescribable lol Schnibbel ... Laughing
Great, Silke! Very Happy
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Nephthys
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:07 pm

Hahahahaha cool Very Happy
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PLankton
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:15 pm

i guess I know , where parts of this have their origin....gosh , Silke !!!!
my cheeks hurt....Laughing
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2tall4you
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:29 pm

funny one.
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:33 am

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Laughing "Schnibbel" Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:43 am

Quote :
Schnibbel: Okay. Then Iíll never grow hard again.
Daron: (desperate) No! You canít do that!
lolll and John's reactions were priceless. Laughing
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Mr.Killerguitar
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:05 am

Wonderful.

People here are staring at me cause I always burst out in laughter

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TADDEUS
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:37 am

^^lol, then Ive reached my aim Razz
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PostSubject: Re: The truth about SOB !!   Sat Mar 29, 2008 6:37 pm

I think so o.O

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