Okay, title say it all, part 3... part 4 coming soon
(...)
It’s already afternoon. Daron walks around in town and then takes out his phone, dialing a well-known number.
Beep – beep – beep – beep – click.
Serj: Hello?
Daron: Hey Serj, this is Daron.
Serj: Hey man, what’s up?
Daron: Uhm, dunno… to be honest, I’m not really well these days… I need to talk to someone.
Serj: Aw okay, no problem, I’m home anyway, just come over to my place.
Daron: Okay, I’ll be there in about half an hour. Thanks, man.
Serj: You’re welcome.
About thirty minutes later, Daron knocks on Serj’s door. Serj opens.
Serj: Hey Daron.
Daron: (hugs Serj) Hey.
Serj: Come in. Something to drink?
Daron: Uhm… yeah, I’ll have a beer.
Serj goes and gets two bottles of beer out of the fridge. When he comes back to the living room, Daron is sitting on the couch, rubbing his hands nervously.
Daron: (takes the beer) Thanks.
Serj: (sits down as well) So what’s the matter? You sounded so… desperate.
Daron: (sighs) I fucking am desperate.
Serj: Why?
Daron: Dude, if I tell you… you will think Im insane.
Serj: (smiles) Daron, I know you for so many years and I’m sure you are insane. You’ve told me so many things… it can’t be worse than the day you claimed to be a woman in the wrong body, remember?!
Daron: Yeah… but this time it’s even worse.
Serj: So? You will feel better when you tell me.
Daron: (breathes in) Okay… well… a couple of weeks ago, my dick started talking to me, and … he acts like a real bitch, he hates me, man, he even forced me to let him sing on our first SOB album and … he tries to control my life and I don’t know what to do anymore.
Serj: (nods patiently) Is that it?
Daron: (twinkles) What... yeah, that’s it, man. It’s bad enough though, isn’t it.
Serj: It depends.
Daron: Damnit, Serj, how can you be so fucking calm all the time?! I just told you that my fucking dick is talking to me, TALKING, did you get that, and all you do is sit there and say “it depends”?!
Serj: Yeah.
Daron: (rolls his eyes) Don’t you find it at least a little amazing that my cock is talking to me and even singing on our album?
Serj: No.
Daron: NO?
Serj: Well, I’m a little surprised that he insisted on singing and that he hates you – usually cocks and their guys get along well...
Daron: Usually? What the fuck... wait – does that mean your dick is talking to you, too?
Serj: Sure he does. He started talking to me when I was twelve.
Daron: You’re not kidding me, are you?!
Serj: No, why should I?!
Daron: And... he doesn’t hate you? Doesn’t bash you? Doesn’t give you orders?
Serj: No, of course not. We have always been best friends. I never make any decision without asking him for his opinion. We talk things over and the agree on one or the other. This is how it works.
Daron: I can’t belive it! You never told me!
Serj: Why should I have told you? “Hey, man, wait a second, I gotta ask my dick first?” Or should I have told you that I wrote my songs together with him?
Daron: You did WHAT?
Serj: Yeah, sure. We make a good team, don’t we?!
Daron: (scratches his head) I fucking can’t believe what’s going on here! Man, you gotta tell me what to do now! I can’t stand him anymore, he is driving me insane, I .. I even thought about cutting him off just to be left alone.
Serj: Maybe you should let him talk to me.
Daron: Man, this is weird, I don’t know...
Serj: Come on, I’ve seen your dick before, and you’ve seen mine, so what?!
Daron: (hesitates) Uhm.. well, okay. (he pulls his pants down and gets out Schnibbel) Hey, man, my friend Serj wants to talk to you.
Schnibbel.: What the fuck... damnit, didn’t I tell you to keep me inside your pants, asshole?
Serj: It’s my fault, I asked him to. Hi, nice to meet you.. I guess.
Schnibbel: So you are the asshole. Not nice to meet you.
Serj: No need to be so rude, I just want to find out what’s wrong between you and Daron...
Schnibbel: Are you serious? Just look at him!
Serj: Uhm, okay, that beard is not really handsome, but... I don’t belive that’s the problem between the two of you.
Schnibbel: HE is the fucking problem. He sucks.
Serj: You might be right, but you’ve known him all you life. It didn’t take you 32 years to find out he sucks, right?!
Schnibbel: No. I’ve known that all his and my life.
Serj: So what’s wrong now? Did anything happen?
Schnibbel: No.
Daron: See, he’s just a fucking bitch.
Schnibbel: You are the bitch, asshole.
Serj: This doesn’t take us anywhere. Can’t we just talk like adults?
Schnibbel: No. I won’t talk to you anyway. I’m fed up with talking to you guys. You all suck.
Serj: (scratches his head) Okay.. so would you talk to Pogo Stick then?
Daron: Who the fuck.. aw.. it’s your dick, right?
Serj: Yes.
Schnibbel: Well... yes, I would... maybe.
Serj: (sighs) Wait, I gotta ask him first... (he gets up, leaves the room and comes back after a minute) Okay, he agrees to talk to you. Usually we never do this, but this is a special situation, I guess, so... (he drops his pants)...
(....)
Mon May 05, 2008 5:59 pm
i bet you will describe "pogo"
