Vitamfromthesky left us

So, I banned Vit yesterday because he requested me to delete his account. If I delete it all his posts are from an unknown author and I don't want this, especially since he published so much of his work here. Banning was the best in my eyes. This is the reason why he wanted me to do it:

[...]
i just dont fit here. you can save my works if you want, maybe some will want to read still.
[...]
well, i miss it very much and want be here. but
from other side, i ask you to delete account to not make me come back.
becauase i wont hold and will get here back again, which i dont want.
too many people are pissed off by me, too many says and thinks they are
insulted by me. too many lies about me. like today i was talking to
Kasta and suddenly she from nothing said that i insulted her becauase i
asked her to explain why she calls bush brainless. i hate to complain,
so also i hate when people like darky complains about me, even when its
their guilt too. im tired be alone agains you all here.


I hope this makes it clearer for you. I leave this topic open for discussion.

Quite frankly, none of that really makes sense to me. Sure, he's not the only one who's guilty, but from that I read up there, he seems to be calling himself the victim. From what I can tell, he and those people never made amends and never tried to explain their actions. I could be wrong, but I'd need some solid proof. We all like Adam, we just don't like when he snaps at us - of course, he could be in a fine mood, but on here it seems like he's angry. Sarcasm doesn't translate well. And, of course, the things he says after other people don't seem to be coincidental - like when he takes a low-blow to someone who's already feeling pretty down. I can even back that up.

I heard it from Marina yesterday (that vit wanted to leave us) but I didnt believe he would really do it. Until now.

Well, what can I say? No, Im not happy. I dont know what I feel. It was not that I didnt like him, we just annoyed each other pretty often, and I agree with Steven, he put himself in a victim-role which did not fit. He seems to have problems but never told us about them (which was his right, of course) but then we were not able to know why he acted the way he acted.

And since he named me personally in his PM to Brad: I can only say that I felt insulted by him, yes, when I had a real bad day and told him and he only bashed me, telling me I was brainless and shit and Serj would hate me if he met me and stuff. Thats not what I call fun and i dont really know in what way I was guilty there. When I told him, hey, calm down, I only got "shut up, fuck you, I wont listen". And I was not the only person who felt like this about him SOMETIMES. Not always.

But anyway, it doesnt matter anymore.
There were lots of misunterstandings and I hope some day he might change his mind and come back as a... happier person.

Well, you all know that I had a big argument with vit recently.
I was pissed off by him and he by me. We were not nice to each other and covered with insults. It got so much in detail and I did not see the reason to stay on this site any longer. But that all based on a stupid missunderstanding we both did not realize.
After some time we wrote mail and described each other what pissed us off, why we got mad, how it came to and so on. We realized that there was no reason for the behaviour we had. I felt sorry for hurting him accidently same as he did.
It all was spoken out peacefully.
And that's the point in everything. To calm down, to speak peacefully and to project the other's thoughts. We need to understand the other person and the reasons for his/her behaviour, than we can judge and speak.

The reasons Vit wrote us are true. If we take a look, than we notice that we made him a scapegoat for mostly our failures and unability to think about the other's thoughts and feelings.
If a person acts different and weird, why don't we ask ourself's if we are maybe the reason for the change?
I don't support Vit's recent behaviour, I just want you to think.
Of course, he also had to understand us, our feelings while he insulted and so on and it was not good just to start to be impolite and respectless.
We are responsible for what we do and for that we need to treat a subject sympathetically and always think of the others.

Furthermore Vit is a great poet and I am sad that he won't post his great work here anymore.

And after all I am very sad that we, in our little community, got so far that many members decide to go sooner or later.
Aren't we kinda guilty for that?

That all shows, that we need to treat the other's same as we want us to be treaten.

I never saw anyone using him as a scapegoat. But that's just me.

Shit!!!..........thats all I have to say.!! He left because of me?...damn.....how I'm gona feel...Damn then I'm leaving too

Nothing special to say actually.
I like him very much,known him for 6 months or so.Never really could grasp some of his behaviour,I guess I thought those were his or mine 'bad days'.
I must say he changed a lot lately.Don't know why,and honestly,I don't care.It's his life and can do with it everything he wants.
He's really one special person who helped me a lot,and I hope I helped him too sometimes.
It's sad that he decided to left us,but that's his decision,and I won't try to play smart or something like that,just want to say that I'm very sorry to hear that,but c'est la vie. I just hope everyone agrees with me in fact that he'll always be welcome in here,no matter what.
It's also sad that we can't solve our problems or say 'sorry' if we know we were wrong,we're just too stubborn,and maybe have too much pride,I don't know,but it just seems like that.
I'll miss him,that's all.

I wonder what I can do now. Like I said, my inbox gets full of things I really don't wanna care about, sometimes. I feel like it's my fault, I gave you too much freedom here it seems. I always thought you would be able to use it wise.

I can just repeat, the only thing I see atm is to make harsher rules which is a thing I don't want to. It's sometimes kindergarten-shit you argue about, you even fight about. Who are we that we need that? children? Better not.

I hope you all know what this site means to me. It's my space I can use to talk to others, to be creative and to learn lot's of things. I'd be sad if I have to close it, just because all members leave after three month.

sorry but your words sound like you only care about the number of members here,just think we have a lost the contact with a good person,a wonderful friend.I will miss him and never ever forget

I guess the fact that I tried to change his mind, that I tried to give him time to think about it -which he didn't want- and the fact that I banned him instead of deleting his account shows that I care for what he does. I care about all of you here. We talk about our lifes here and lot's of people are friends in my eyes. No, I didn't stop care for you, I just came to the point that I can't understand what you guys want. I decided to stop asking myself what you want and to start making the site the way I want it.

To say it like a Zak: If you don't like what I do here go to the suggestion forum and tell me how I can make it better! Kody and I woked hard on this here, all the trouble he had with the design and all the stuff we both made in photoshop/paint.net was work. And all we get for our effords are a bunch of children who can ONLY spam, tease each other and write their thoughts into the written forum. Thanks for this, I should change the name of the site to spam-field or writer's league! It's your turn now. Think about YOUR behavior here, vit left not because of ME, but because of YOU. I don't care if you run around like chickens with no head. I'll make new rules here. Seems like you need more dictatorship. Call me Zak afterwards, pff, I don't care. I still have to send emails to inactive users, get people into steal this serj and care for our myspace.

I remember you, it's a SOAD-Site, so I want to give you some numbers:
SOAD-Category: 205 posts
Side Projects-Category: 613 posts
General-Category: 3476 posts
Creativity-Category: 575 posts

Do you see that? And the best is: Other Bands-Category 135posts. Give it a month and I bet that this category has even more posts than the soad category.

I understand your worries , Brad . i was talking with Silke about that topic yesterday .

I understand what Anahit said ,too . I won´t ever forget him myself .
all this is still making me feel like being on a funeral . one epitaoh after another .
I don´t want to write such an epitaph ....*sighs*..I can´t .

thx for everything , vit . I´ll miss you .

Brad,no one says that you had done something wrong with closing random spamming thread,i understand you too,and i can say i hadn't any problems with vit, last month we were very good friends,sorry for my words i didn't know you were asking him to stay and was angry when wrote that.
BTW thanks for you worked so hard and created this site.