here we go....
(...)
A couple of hours later...
John: Okay, guys, that’s it for today, I guess. We did quite a lot, more than I had expected.
Schnibbel: Yeah, just because this stupid motherfucker I’m unfortunately attached to was finally able to shut up for some time.
Daron: What the fuck is wrong with you, man, I didn’t say nothing and you just bash me like no tomorrow?! John, help me! Your dick is not acting like a bitch, what did I do wrong?
John: Uhm, dunno.. my dick is not even talking to me, you know, so....
Schnibbel: He could but there’s no reason to do it.
John: What?!
Schnibbel: Yeah, man, I talked to The Incredible Hulk lately and he’s quite happy with you so there’s no need to complain.
John: What do you mean, you talked to.. and HULK? What the fuck...
Schnibbel: That’s his name, dumbass.
John: Yeah but.. I didn’t name it, I mean, him...
Schnibbel: Just because we are attached to your bodies doesn’t mean we’re your property and you have to name us like pets.
John: Okay, okay... and.. what did he say, I mean, Hulk?
Schnibbel: He said you treat him well. You wash regularly like humans should, you don’t push him into any dirty asshole and he gets blown almost every day. And you don’t shown him to the public. This is how dicks should live, man.
John: (scratches his head) That’s what he told you? I can’t believe it.
Daron: So this is the difference? This is why you’re so pissed? Let me tell you one thing, man, if you were as big as Hulk, I’d treat you like a God.
Schnibbel: Aw, now it’s my fault that I’m not a big rod but a small wiener?!
Daron: Maybe it is. Maybe you decided not to grow any longer just because you hate me.
Schnibbel: I don’t hate you.
Daron: No?
Schnibbel: No. I mean I might even kinda like you if I wasn’t forced to stick with you every single second of my fucking life. You just can be so annoying. Do you know how embarassing it is when you drop your pants on stage and show your ass and even me to everyone in the audience?
Daron: Uhm... I had no idea it might bother you.
Schnibbel: But it does. I’m shy, okay, I don’t want to be seen by the whole world.
John: You are shy? Hahahahahaha.
Schnibbel: Shut up, dumbass. I am shy, I just don’t show it.
Daron: And if I promise not to drop my pants anymore, I mean, on stage.. will you be a little nicer then?
Schnibbel: No.
Daron: What the fuck... you’re such a dick! Uhm.. I mean.. whatever...
Schnibbel: I will think about being a little nicer if you obey my rules.
Daron: Your rules? Damnit, I’m already obyeing your fucking rules, remember? I let you sing on the whole fucking album, man, what more can you want?
Schnibbel: First of all, shave that carpet off your face.
Daron: No way, dude, this is my new look.
Schnibbel: What look? The I-am-a-filthy-old-bum-look? This thing has to get off. Today.
Daron: No!
Schnibbel: Okay. You know what happens if you don’t do what I want. You’ll live like a monk for the rest of your life.
Daron: You can’t blackmail me forever, man, I’m not your fucking property, okay, I’m the fucking human here and I decide how I wanna look like.
John: Wait a second... I mean, your dick is right and you look awful with all this filthy hair all over your face but.. maybe it can be useful for us.
Schnibbel: In what way?
John: We will have to do our first performances soon, the people are calling for it. And this is where we will get in trouble, I mean, have you ever thought about how we wanna manage this? Everyone thinks Daron is the singer in SOB but he does not sing. And if he goes on stage and takes you out to sing, we will end up in prison within ten minutes.
Schnibbel: I won’t sing in public anyway. I told you I’m shy.
John: Whatever.
Daron: I don’t get it, what does this whole thing have to do with my beard?
John: You’ll have to do playback. You know what that means, don’t you? You pretend you’re singing while the voice is actually coming from a tape. And since no one can really see your face under that... thing, they won’t be able to tell it’s not you singing.
Schnibbel: Quite a good idea. You’re a pretty smart guy. Damn, I wish I was your dick.
John: No thank you, I’m very happy with my, uhm, Hulk.
Schnibbel: Alright, asshole, you can keep your carpet. For now.
Daron: I would have kept it anyway, motherfucker.
Schnibbel: Blah, blah, blah. But listen, you gotta stick to my other rules. First of all, you gotta wash at least every second day. Man, you’re sweating like a whole footbal team, it’s just gross.
Daron: Okay, okay...
Schnibbel: And no more sodomy.
Daron: WHAT?! Aw no, forget it!!
Schnibbel: What the fuck is wrong with you? If you were gay, alright, there is no other opportunity, but man, do you know how disgusting it is to be inside an asshole?
Daron: But... it feels good.
Schnibbel: No it does not. Imagine someone took you by your feet and stuffed you headlong inside a giants’ ass, would you still think it’s fun?
Daron: Uhm.. probably yes...
John: (chuckles) Yeah, he would.
Schnibbel: Shut up, no one talked to you anyway.
Daron: Come on, man, I can’t promise you not to do it. I mean, how should I explain it to Jess, she fucking likes it as much as I do.
Schnibbel: That’s not my problem. You should get rid of her anyway. I can’t stand having sex so often.
Daron: Liar! You enjoy it! You wouldn’t grow hard several times a day if you didn’t like it.
Schnibbel: Yeah, I like sex, that’s true.. I just don’t like having sex when you are around. Man, you’re so fucking gross when you’re aroused, bleh, I can’t understand why Jessica is not running away from you anyway.
Daron: Because she loves me.
Schnibbel: She must be insane. Or very desperate.
John: (coughs) Guys, stop it, I don’t wanna hear any more about your sexlife. Ugh, I’m already feeling sick.
Schnibbel: Man, if I had your girl, I would stay hard for the rest of my life.
John: Don’t talk about her that way!
Schnibbel: Haha, don’t think Hulk doesn’t tell me about you and her. Oh yes. You’re a bad boy, Johnny, yes, you are.
John: (blushes) Shut up!
Daron: (chuckles) Is there anything you wanna tell me, John? Huh?
John: Uhm, no. And now take your dick and get the fuck outta here!
Daron: (whispers) Hey, Schnibbel, come on, tell me!
Schnibbel: Hehe, no.
Daron: Aw come on! I’m curious! What does he do?
Schnibbel whispers something at Daron, Daron giggles and nods.
Daron: Aww John... I always thought you were a nice guy... tsk, tsk...
John: (throws his drumsticks at Daron) Get the fuck out !!!
(...)
Thu May 01, 2008 2:38 pm
will be getting more and more jealous , 
...ooh ..tension people , tension ! ....
..just imagine , their betrayal would be discovered . 
