Anecdotes

well, not in shortness or longness (what a words) is problem. but that its hard to translate it with same thought and meaning. so its hard. but anyway, okay.

agree, sometimes it's really hard to translate without loosing meaning. but here's one...

2 blondes are talking:
-yesterday I was attacked by maniac.
-sexual one?
-not very.

or that..

doctor says to blonde maybe 4th time:
-please, turn off your mp3 take off your headphones.
-but I can't, it's vital for me...
doctor goes mad and grabs headphones from blonde's head, and she suddenly start to choke and catch air. then doctor puts headphones on his head and hears:
-breathe in, breathe out...breathe in, breathe out..

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the World. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. 'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled to Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Russia, Germany and France. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '$10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to Armenia to see if Armenians had the same phone. He arrived in Armenia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read 'One Dram per call.' The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've traveled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but everywhere the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Armenia now, Son - it's a local Call'.

here is one abou blondes


One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

:D this is cool one. and Sweetfans one is great too. damn, i just woke up, so i have no any anecdote on my mind... will read.

hey...waiting.......... For new ones......work guys WORK!!

hey, maybe some of you had some funny situations in real? so tell, would be funny.

У Вовочки на уроке спрашивают:
- Вовочка, назови четыре стихии.
- Огонь. Воздух. Земля...
- Ну, что не знаешь? Чем ты руки перед едой моешь?
- А! Вспомнил! Ещё - мыло!

bRRbull


Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.

:D

- Кем будешь одеваться на Новый Год?
- Шреком!
- Маску купил?
- Пока нет, а ты кем будешь?
- Красавицей!
- Маску купила?

Гаишник останавливает автомобиль.
Опускается окно, водитель заискивающе улыбаясь:
"Здравия желаю, товарищ капитан! Вот пожалуйста права, техпаспорт,
доверенность, страховочка само собой, все как положено, как надо..."
С заднего сиденья детский голос:
"Папа, а где козлы?"

:D

20 minutes and i will be able to buy alcohol!
- yeah? congrats. how old you become?
Idiot! after 20 minutes shop is opening, im - 36

Question: what A.Schwarzenegger has long, M.Ali short, Madonna doesnt have and Pope has, but never uses?
Answer: surname.

Blonde is listening radio in the car and there is said:
- you are listening radio SWH!
blonde: damn, how they know!?

stands in buss one very fat man, and one very thin. fat says:
- when i look on you, i think that in town is starvation
and thin answers:
- when i look on you, i think that its your guilt

what were the last words of sports techer?
"all balls and spears to me."

M: my wife is cheating me
D: how you know?
M: last night she was not home and said that she slept at Simona's place
D: and?
M: problem is that, that i slept at Simona's place...

-mommy, who is transvestite?
-ask uncle Sarah.

Q: why japanese are so smart people?
A: because they have no blondes

^^ nice one

-lady, what would you want: vine or vodka?
-vine.
-white or red?
-red.
-from italy or from france?
-italy.
-sweet, medium sweet or..
-ahh, better give me vodka.

teacher asks student:

T: tell me, how is called human who talks and talks inspite of that noone listens to him?
S: thats you teacher

hysterical actress:
- I want that diamonds in first scene would be real! understand?!
- Yes, yes. diamonds will be real. everything will be real. diamonds in first scene and poison in second...

before marriage:

he: finally! i couldnt wait...
she: maybe i should leave?
he: even dont think about that!
she: you love me?
he: of course
she: have you ever cheated me?
he: no! how something like this came into your mind?
she: will kiss me?
he: of course!
she: will beat me?
he: of course no!
she: can i believe you?

to know what happens after marriage, read from down to upside.

he-he,that was very funny
a stupid one,sorry in Russian….

Razgovor dvux vechno golodnix studentov:
-Slushay, Vasya,mojet,davay porosenka zavedem,otkormim ego,a k Novomu godu zakolem,a?
-Da net,ti podumay:takaya von,gryaz….
-Da nichego,Vasya,priviknet!

Watch this very very funny video
You only understand it, when you know russian, unfortunately

watch this^^

(I hope it's okay for you, when I post a video in an anectdotes thread)

I think there should be posted hilarious pics too then

well, everyone from baltci countries could understand that for sure. we have same swears. :D and that vid is awesome

Policeman stops car, which was driving too fast. driver is explaining:
-you know, New Years celebration lasted too much, so now I'm hurry to get home..
-but now is May!
-yes, that's why I'm so hurry...

Rashid comes to third class, as is generally known you get marks.

Rashid comes home: Papa, I have a 6 (6 is the worst mark) in German, why?
Cause you are a Moroccan.

Some day Rashid comes home again: Papa, I have a 6 in Math, is it, beacause I am a Moroccan?
Yes, my son.

Rashid: Papa, I have a 6 in Geography, is it, beacause I am a Moroccan?
Yes, my son.

Some day Rashid comes home, very happy:
Papa, I have a 1 (1 is best mark) in Sports, and while showering I saw that I have the biggest one, is it, because I am Moroccan?

No my son, that's because you are 18.