Here comes the first part of my new Daron and Schnibbel - fan fic... enjoy.
24 hours in the life of...
The alarm clock rings.
Daron: (yawns) Aw… no… fuck you… (switches it off, sits up and stretches, then looks down) Hey, man, you’re already awake, too?
Schnibbel: For the last twenty years, I’ve always been awake when you got up, dude, you should really get used to it.
Daron: Yeah…(he graps Schnibbel and begins to rub it slowly)
Schnibbel: Hey, motherfucker, what are you doing?
Daron: What does it look like? I feel like jerking off.
Schnibbel: But I don’t. Stop it. Are you deaf or what? I said STOP IT. You should rather take a shower and wash me, man, I feel dirty.
Daron: (stops rubbing and sighs) You’re not dirty, I took a shower, like, a week ago.
Schnibbel: Exactly, man. I’m glad I don’t have a nose so I can’t smell you. And me. And look at this, all the hair around me, that´s gross!
Daron: Uhm, I thought it would be a good idea to grow a little more hair, you know, that looks, like, more male and stuff.
Schnibbel: Like that awful beard that hides three quarters of your face? If you go on like that, they will take you to the zoo because they consider you a gorilla. A very small gorilla but…
Daron: I like my beard, motherfucker.
Schnibbel: Yeah. You also like pushing me inside some chick’s ass, which tells everything about you and your preferences, dude…
Daron: (sighs) Man, I wish you had never started talking at all, life was much more peaceful before…
Jessica (from downstairs): Honey, who are you talking to?
Daron: Uhm.. just myself, Babe…
He gets up, takes a shower – without shaving – and then goes down to the kitchen where Jessica is waiting for him with a cup of coffee.
Daron: (kisses Jessica) Morning. And thanks honey.
He takes the cup and drinks.
Jessica: Are you seriously talking to yourself, Daron?
Daron: Yeah. Why not?
Jessica: Uhm… dunno…it’s a little weird, isn’t it?! I’m not sure but I think I heard you say something like “I like my beard, motherfucker”…”
Daron: Uhm…nah, I didn’t say that. Damnit, Jess, you know it’s too freaking early for me, you know that. I was pissed when that fucking alarm clock rang and just swearing around a little. Fucking John, I mean, why does he always want to work so fucking early?!
Jessica: (laughs) Hon, it’s almost ten.
Daron: Yeah, much too early for – what?! Almost ten? Fuck, I’m late again, John will kick my ass! I gotta be off, Babe, see ya tonight.
He runs out.
Jessica: (shakes her head smiling) Tonight.. yeah…
Daron arrives at the studio about half an hour late. John is already there, playing some warm ups. When Daron comes in, he stops and points at the clock on the wall.
Daron: Shut up, man, I know I’m late. Damnit, I told ya it’s too fucking early.
John: Can’t you just say you’re sorry and PLEASE be on time tomorrow? Thank you. And now come on, let’s start, we’ve got some work to do.
Daron: Okay, okay… man, you’re worse than my Mom, hehe. “Do this, do that, be on time, …” blah blah.
John: (rolls his eyes) What do you wanna start with? Play the guitar part or d’you wanna let, uhm, it sing first?
Daron: Dunno… wait, I gotta ask him… (he drops his pants) Hey, man, you wanna sing first?
Schnibbel: Yeah sure.
Daron: Uhm.. hey, buddy, will you let me sing today? Just one single song?
Schnibbel: No.
Daron: Come on, man, that’s not fair, I’ve been practising so hard!
Schnibbel: Yeah thanks, I heard it. No way!
Daron: You’re such a mean asshole, believe me, if you weren’t attached to my body, I’d fucking kill you!
Schnibbel: (pretends to yawn) Blah, blah, blah…
John: (coughs) Could you guys stop that? We gotta work, remember?! There’s a lot of work to do if we want to release the album in summer.
Daron: He started!
Schnibbel: No, I didn’t.
Daron: Yes, you did.
Schnibbel: No, I didn’t.
Daron: Yes, you did.
John: Shut up! How old are you, five? (he scratches his head) Damnit, I still can’t believe I’m talking to a fucking cock!
Schnibbel: I didn’t ask you to talk to me at all, man.
Daron: You hear it, he’s such an asshole.
John: (rolls his eyes and sighs) Whatever. Can we start now, please?
Schnibbel: If you tell that motherfucker to hold the mic right in front of me, sure.
Daron takes the microphone and holds it in front of Schnibbel.
Schnibbel: (coughs) THEY SAY IT’S ALL ABOUT TO END…
watch out for more.... when its done
Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:09 pm
