Alrighty here comes part 5, its the last but one part and Ill finish it soon, so... enjoy reading and be prepared for the end
(...)
Daron leaves Serj’s house and goes to the next supermarket. There he buys some shavers and loads of razorblades and ten cans of shaving foam.
Shop Owner: Hey, Mr. Malakian, what’s all that stuff for? Are you planning to shear a sheep, haha?
Daron: Uhm, sort of.
He pays, takes the bag and goes home. As soon as the door is closed behind them, Schnibbel begins to talk.
Schnibbel: Hey, man, come on, let me out!
Daron unzips his pants
Schnibbel: Alright, let’s go upstairs and do it! Can’t wait, hehe.
Daron: Come on, man, you can’t do that to me! John will kick my ass, and Jess will probably leave me and… and… everyone will laugh at me!
Schnibbel: They already do. Never noticed? And now shut up and get into the bathroom, this will definitely take you some time.
Daron goes into the bathroom, stands in front if the mirror and looks inside.
Daron: I can’t do that!
Schnibbel: What the fuck?!…
Daron: Man, I’ll look like a total jerk!
Schnibbel: You already do with this carpet in your face.
Daron: Okay, okay… I’ll shave my beard, if you insist. I’ll shave my fucking legs and arms and I’ll shave my balls, alright, but I won’t make a fucking fool of myself and shave my head and my eyebrows!
Schnibbel: It was a bet, remember? That’s worth more than a promise, man. You’ll lose the last bit of your honour if you don’t keep what you said.
Daron: I don’t give a fuck. Who do you think you are anyway, huh?
Schnibbel: Do I always have to remind you? I am your dick, asshole, and I am the one who is in control if you’ll ever be able to fuck your stupid girlfriend again.
Daron: She’ll not want me anymore anyway after I lost all my hair, dude…
Schnibbel: Why are you always such a wuzz? Your hair is growing so freaking fast, it will be kinda normal again in a month or two. And now do it, shave! SHAVE!
Daron sighs, takes a shaver out of the bag and begins to shave.
Two hours later…
Daron: Alright, motherfucker, there is not one single hair left on my body. Are you happy now?
Schnibbel: Yes, hehe. You finally look like the jerk you are.
Daron: Damnit…. you’re right… I do look like a fucking jerk! Man, I won’t be able to go out for a whole month or more!
Schnibbel: Yeah… I just wonder if the mayor of LA will reward me for making you stay home for so long…
Daron: Shut the fuck up!
He goes into the living room, takes his guitar and plays all kinds of old and new songs to get his mind off his new look. He plays very loud so that he can’t hear Schnibbel talking, and it’s only luck that he hears the telephone ringing at all.
Daron: Hello?
Serj: Hey man, this is Serj…
Daron: Serj! Hey! Did you find out anything?
Serj: Uhm.. well… yeah, kind of… is Jessica home?
Daron: Nah, she’s at a photo shooting today… I guess it will take her all day anyway, she won’t be back before tonight… why?
Serj: I’ll come over and tell you. See you in, uhm, about half an hour.
Daron: Alright… see you then…
Thirty minutes later, the doorbell rings. It’s Serj.
Daron: Hey… good to see you.
Serj:(stares at Daron) What the fuck… oh man, what did he do to you?
Daron: Don’t ask me, man, don’t ask me. Just come in.
They walk in and sit down in the living room.
Daron: And now, tell me what you found out!
Serj: Let’s wait for John and Shavo.
Daron: They are coming, too?! Why?
Serj: I thought it’s better have four people… four are stronger than two, you know.
Daron: Stronger? Dude, I have no idea what you’re talking about…
Serj: I know.. just wait until the others arrive, I’ll explain it then, I just don’t wanna tell it three times, you know?!
Daron: (shrugs) Whatever.
Serj: (stares at Daron) Man… you really look…
Daron: I KNOW, okay?!
The doorbell rings again. It’s John and Shavo.
Shavo: Muhahahahaha, holy fuck, Daron, what happened to you?! You look like… I don’t even know what you look like, hahaha !
John: What the fuck… Daron! Didn’t we say you should keep your beard?
Shavo: The beard? Haha, he didn’t keep one single hair! He is as hairless as a babys’ ass!
Daron: Shut up! You think I did this just for fun?!
Shavo: (points at Daron) Hahaha… pfffhahaha…
Daron: Shut the fuck up, asshole, or I’ll kick you!
They walk in and sit down in the living room as well.
John: Alright, Serj, so please tell us why you wanted us to come here. You know I had a date today.
Serj: Yeah I know and I’m sorry, but this is important. Daron needs our help.
Shavo: I don’t think we can help him anymore, haha, just look at him.
Serj: Shavo… please… this is serious, okay?!
Shavo: Okay, okay…
Serj: Alright. Where can I start… I’ll just say it the way it is, Daron has a problem with his cock, and…
Shavo: Muhahaha, I’d have a problem with that short thingy, too.
Daron: Damnit, Shavo…
Serj: Guys, PLEASE ! It’s a different kind of problem. You already know about it, John. Daron asked me to help him with his Schnibbel, and I did some research, and…
Daron: Come on, tell me, what did you find out?! Can you help me? Please tell me you can!
Serj: Uhm, well… there is something I found out but it’s, like, not so easy to understand, at least not for people who don’t have any experience with supernatural matters…
Daron: What? I don’t get a single word, man! Just tell me what you know, okay?!
Serj: Okay. You have to know that the sky is crowded with Gods. There are Gods for everything, for the weather, for the growth of plants, for the growth of hair, simply for everything in this world. You can imagine, there have to be really many Gods, they are everywhere, but we just can’t see them. So far, so good?!
Daron: Yeah… go on.
Serj: Alright. Maybe you won’t be surprised that there is also a God for, you know, dicks. A God who is in charge for distributing dicks to guys when they are born or even before that. (He takes out a sheet of paper) I found this, it’s some kind of a prayer, and I thought we could, like, try to talk to the particular God and ask him what happened in Daron’s case… I’m sure it’s a male God, btw, since he is in charge of dicks, hehe…
John: Wait.. just let me sum it up: there is a God somewhere in the sky who distributes dicks to guys, right, and you wanna, like, call him and ask why he gave Schnibbel to Daron?
Serj: Uhm… yeah.
Shavo: Hahaha, what the fuck are you on about?! Man, whatever it is, gimme some, I wanna be as high as you are, hehe.
Daron: We are not high, dumbass!
Shavo: Are you sure? This sounds totally crazy!
Daron: Yeah, you’re right… Serj, are you serious about this? Who told you about this Gods stuff anyway?
Serj: Uhm… let’s say I just know it. I’ve got connections.
John: (scratches his head) Connections? To Gods? Damnit, Serj, is there anything you wanna tell us?
Serj: No. Let’s just try it, it’s the only chance we’ve got anyway. Agree?
Daron: Man, I would agree on anything just to find a way out of this fucking situation. Come on, tell us, what do we have to do?
Serj: Alright… we gotta get this table out of the way and sit on the ground in a circle.
John and Daron carry the table aside, and the guys sit down on the ground.
Daron: What now?
Serj: We gotta take our dicks out.
Shavo: And then we gotta jerk off, I guess, hehe.
Serj. No. Just take it out.
Everyone unzips their pants and takes out their cock.
Shavo: (looks at Schnibbel) Pffhaha, Daron, man, your dick is so small!
Daron: Shut up!
Schnibbel: Yeah, asshole, shut up!
Shavo: O-O What the fuck…?!
Schnibbel: What’s wrong with you? Never heard a dick talk?
Shavo: Uhm – no!
John: Well, Shavo, looks like you’re the only one in this room who doesn’t know that every cock can talk, huh?!
Shavo: What? No. Mine can’t talk. No way.
2stoned2stand: (coughs) Erm.. man… in fact… I can.
Shavo: (looks down) WHAT?! Holy shit... man…I think I’m hallucinating or anything… but I’m not even high! What the fuck is going on here?!
Hulk: You’re not hallucinating, man. This is real. Hi Stoney, what’s up?!
2stoned2stand: Not so much, actually… anyway, what is this, cock meeting?
Pogo Stick: Kind of, yeah.
Serj: Alright, guys... and dicks… can we start?!
Daron: Yeah. Start with… whatever.
Serj takes the sheet and begins to read the prayer in an unfamiliar tongue.
(…)
Tue May 20, 2008 10:38 am
Im always open to inspiration so if anyone got a crazy idea.. let me know 
I read it 