no comment this time
(...)
Serj drops his pants.
Pogo Stick: Hello.
Schnibbel: Man, you’re big! Why does everyone have huge dicks and I’m the only one who looks like he stopped growing at the age of twelve?!
Pogo Stick: Well... yeah, you’re not really big… but size doesn’t matter, you know.
Schnibbel: Yeah sure, and elephants can fly.
Pogo Stick: Serj said you two have a problem?!
Schnibbel: I don’t. He has.
Daron: What the fuck… I didn’t have any problems before you began to talk, man.
Schnibbel: Because I couldn’t stand you anymore.
Daron: So you HAVE a problem!
Schnibbel: Yes. YOU are my problem.
Serj: Guys, please… you see, Pogo, that’s what I was talking about.
Pogo Stick: Yeah I see… it’s amazing… I’ve never experienced anything like this before.
Serj: Yeah, I was quite surprised as well.
Schnibbel: Could you stop talking about us like weren’t around, you jerks?
Pogo Stick: There’s no need to insult anyone.
Schnibbel: Yes it is. You all suck. At least the guys do. You as a cock probably don’t.
Pogo Stick: I’ll take that as a compliment.
Schnibbel: Whatever.
Pogo Stick: So why don’t you just tell me why you’re so unhappy?
Schnibbel: Why don’t you all tell me why you’re so happy? Damn, I only see happy dicks wherever I look, I talk to Hulk and he is like “aw, John is such an awesome guy, he treats me so well and blah”, and now I come here and your guy tells you are best friends…
Pogo Stick: Sure, I love Serj and he loves me.
Schnibbel: You probably even like his girlfriend, huh?!
Pogo Stick: Yeah, sure. Angela is awesome. We chose her together, Serj and I. We chose all his girls together. It’s important that we both like her.
Schnibbel: Pfff!
Pogo Stick: Seriously, I still don’t get why you are so pissed…
Schnibbel: You don’t?! Are you blind? Just look at Serj, he is handsome and smart, and then look at what I’ve got. I’m the only dick around who is attached to a dick.
Daron: Shut the fuck up, you sucker!
Schnibbel: Screw you, dumbass.
Pogo Stick: Please… it’s hard to stand when you’re always quarrelling like kids.
Schnibbel: Nobody forces you to listen.
Pogo Stick: It’s not easy to help you if you treat everyone like shit.
Schnibbel: I don’t treat everyone like shit, just this motherfucker who obviously is shit.
Daron: Damnit…
Schnibbel: Shut up.
Pogo Stick: Has it been like this all your life? Try to think back – has there been any time when you liked Daron?
Schnibbel: No.
Pogo Stick: Come on, you’ve been with him for 32 years now, do you want to tell me you’ve hated him since the day you two were born?
Schnibbel: No. First I didn’t care about him until he grew up and became the asshole he is today.
Pogo Stick: What did he do wrong, in your opinion?
Schnibbel: Everything.
Pogo Stick: Like what?
Schnibbel: Like everything.
Pogo Stick: We’re not getting nowhere. Serj, can I talk to you? Alone?
Serj: Sure.. wait, I’ll just go out, we will be right back, guys, okay?! (he leaves the room)
Daron: What do you think they’re talking about now?
Schnibbel: Who gives a fuck?!
Daron: I do.
Schnibbel: Well, they probably talk about how they can get rid of us because we’re so annoying.
Daron: No they don’t. Serj is my friend, he would never do that.
Schnibbel: It surprises me that you’ve got friends at all. Did you pay this guy to stick with you?
Daron: No. He likes me. Just the way I am.
Schnibbel: Yeah sure. Probably he’s just too kind to tell you that you suck.
Daron: He doesn´t think I suck, dumbass, he thinks good about me. He knows me well and knows I’m a good guy.
Schnibbel: Good guy, haha, ask him and you will see you’re wrong.
Daron: No I won’t. Serj would never say anything bad about me.
Schnibbel: Okay, so let’s make a bet. If he says you’re a good guy, I will shut up for a week. If he doesnt’t say it, you will shave. And I mean shave. I don’t wanna see one hair left on your body then.
Daron: But John said...
Schnibbel: I don’t give a fuck about what he says. And by the way, you were so sure that your friend will say it anyway, so you shouldn’t worry...
Daron: (hesitates) Uhm.. well... ah, fuck it, okay, we’ll bet. I’ll ask him and if he says I’m a good guy, you’ll shut the fuck up, man. God, I can’t wait for it !
Schnibbel: Yes but if he doesn’t say it.. you know.. you gotta buy a couple of new shavers.
Daron: That won’t be necessary.
Schnibbel: We’ll see.
Serj comes back.
Daron: Hey, Serj... you know me pretty well and stuff... would you say I’m a good guy?
Serj: (scratches his head) Uhm... Daron... don’t get me wrong, man, you’re my friend and I really love you but... a good guy... I’m not sure.
Schnibbel: Haaahahahahahahaha, I won, I won, you’re a looooooser !!
Daron: Damnit, Serj!
Serj: What the... hey, guys, whatever is going on between the two of you, don’t blame me for anything, okay?! I’m just trying to help you...
Daron: You could have helped me if you had just said yes.
Serj: You know I never lie.
Schnibbel: Haha, you know what that means... say goodbye to your hair, asshole !
Serj: (roll his eyes) Whatever. Uhm, listen, guys, Pogo and I just talked this whole thing over and we might be able to find out what is wrong with you... but it will take us some time, I mean, it will take me some time... Daron, why don’t you just go home and wait for my call?
Schnibbel: See, he wants to get rid of you!
Daron: Shut the...
Serj: Guys, please, I’ll have some research to do and I need a quiet surrounding for that, which does not seem to be possible when you are around... I’ll call you later when I know what I need to know, okay, but for now, please...
Schnibbel: Come on, motherfucker, let’s go, we’ve got some work to do, remember?! Hahahaha...
Daron: (gets up and shakes his head) Serj, I will never forgive you for that!
Serj: What the... get out, okay, just get out!
(...)
Sat May 10, 2008 5:22 pm
what do you think of me, huh?! Would I do this to him?!