When we entered the living room (there was no beer in the fridge anymore cos we had taken it all last night and Serj hoped for some rest on the table), Shavo was still asleep on the carpet. When Daron saw him and all the bottles standing around, he went: ”Hey, what did you guys do last night? Looks like a fucking orgy to me.”
“No, it wasn’t actually an orgy”, Serj replied, “we just had some fun and then she gave me a real good blow job. I didn’t know your mouth could ever be so tender.”
I blushed. Daron started laughing his insane laughter, then suddenly stopped and asked “you’re kidding me, right?”. Serj answered “no”, and after a second, Daron laughed again.
While Serj and I checked out the cans, Daron went over to him and kicked his ass.
“Get up, motherfucker! What’s wrong with you to sleep on the fucking carpet, huh?”
Shavo sat up quickly – too quickly according to the look in his eyes – and gazed around him. Probably he didn’t even know who he was.
“What the fuck ... man, why are you ... wait ... who’s that chick? I can’t remember ... we didn’t have any chicks around last night, did we? Serj?”
Serj had finally found a full bottle, opened it and drank without noticing Shavo who seemed to be kinda desperate.
“”You don’t get it, motherfucker, huh?”, Daron laughed. “It’s me, asshole.”
Shavo’s eyes opened wide. “Daron? Is it... is it you?”
“Hehe, yeah, man, it’s me! And I look good, don’t I?”
“Better than you used to anyway.”
They started punching and kicking each other like two little boys (or one boy and one girl, according to the outer appearance). I didn’t feel comfortable about my body getting into a stupid fight like that but I didn’t say anything. It was Serj who finally stopped them.
“Come one, guys, stop it! We’ve got something to do, remember? Why don’t we just sit down and try to figure out how we can change everything back to how it used to be?”
Of course everyone obeyed.
“Okay”, Serj started the discussion, “anyone got any idea what to do?”
“Maybe we should just knock them out”, Shavo suggested. “I saw a movie once where two people had changed bodies, and when they got knocked out, everthing was allright again afterwards.”
“If you dare to touch me, I’m gonna kick your fucking ass”, Daron shouted. “Nobody’s gonna knock me out, you get me?”
“Okay, okay ... d’you have any better idea?”
“Yeah, I do. It’s easy. We should just fuck each other. Maybe we would change back when we exchange some of our body liquids. And by the way, I’ve always wanted to fuck myself.”
“No way!”, I disagreed, shaking my head fast. “I won’t do that! Never!”
“Come on, dude, you’re gonna spoil it all!”, Daron laughed.
“I don’t care. I’m not gonna do that.”
“Well guys”, Shavo said from the left, “now we could really need a magician, huh?”
Daron raised his eyebrows (my eyebrows, in fact). “Why? D’you think fucking David Copperfield could help us?”
“No, man, I’m talking about a real magician. Like Merlin or Gandalf. Lord of the Rings, you know.”
I realized Serj getting nervous, stroking his beard in an insecure way which didn’t fit him.
“Is there anything wrong with you?”, I wanted to know.
He sighed. “Well, erm ... I don’t really know... I never wanted to talk about it but now it seems necessary ... okay, listen, guys, I’ve got a secret.”
“I know it”, Daron shouted, “you’re gay!”
“Shut up!”, I ordered.
Serj gave me a thankful smile. “It’s not easy for me to talk about it. I have some kind of a special gift ...”
“Me too!” Daron again! “I can make my cock do tricks. Wanna see? Oh wait... I haven’t got my cock at the moment...”
“Why can’t you just shut the hell up?” Shavo punched him into the ribs and apologized to me afterwards.
“If you make fun of me, I won’t tell you anything!”, Serj said.
“Don’t listen to this retard. Go on. Please.”
“Okay. As I said, I have a special gift. I can make things happen. Not always, it doesn’t work when I want it to – I think I don’t know how to use it yet... damn, let me just give it a name; listen, I’m a fucking magician, okay?!”
Silence.
Serj looked around expectantly. “Come on, guys, please, say something!”
Again it was Daron who started. “What the fuck... are you kidding me? You’re a fucking WHAT? Hahaha, is this is a joke, it’s the best joke you’ve ever told.”
A look into Serj’s dark eyes showed me that this was not a joke, not at all.
“If you don’t like what you hear, it’s not my problem”, he answered angrily, “but I’m telling you the fucking truth, okay?! I’ve always known something is special about me. I just never realized what it was until a couple of years ago. There is magic surrounding me.”
His choice of words made me smile.
“And you think you can help us?”, I asked quietly.
“Well, yeah, actually I do. I mean, I haven’t tried anything like that before but I’m pretty sure that it might work if I hypnotize you and then transfer you minds into the correct bodies. What do you say?”
Silence again.
“Well”, I started after a few seconds, “let’s just give it a try. We’ve got nothing to lose anyway.”
Serj told Daron and me to closely sit next to each other. Shavo had to keep a distance so he would not disturb us.Then Serj threw all the empty bottles away and seated himself on the small wooden table.
“Okay”, he said in a deep and calm voice, “all you have to do is relax. Keep calm and try not to think of anything.”
“That should be no problem for Daron”, Shavo laughed. He sat on a chair near the window.
Serj gave him an angry look. “Shhh ...” Then he turned round again and leaned forward so his face got pretty close to mine. He looked me straight in the eyes. I bowed my head automatically.
“Oh no, come on! You have to look at me. Im not so ugly, huh?!”
I forced myself to obey. His eyes were beautiful and dark as velvet, and the more I looked into them, the more I felt like I was about to pass out. Everything around me seemed to vanish. There was only me and Serj, nothing else ...
“That’s fucking stupid! It won’t work, man!”
Suddenly I was right awake again. Daron who sat at my left had just moved and loudly spoken those words.
“Why can’t you just shut up once in your fucking lifetime?!”, Serj shouted angrily. “I already got her close and now you destroyed everything!”
“Close to what? Eye orgasm?”
Serj sighed and rolled his eyes. Then he faced me again, ignoring Daron.
“Can we give it another try?”
I nodded. This time I didn’t move my head but responded his gaze until I stared feeling dizzy and my surrounding went out of view. I heard him whisper words in his mother tongue. Of course I didn’t understand a single word but enjoyed the sound of his warm voice. I felt calm, calm and sleepy ...
Then, suddenly, it got dark around me.
When I opened my eyes again, I was surrounded by darkness. Nothing but darkness. I was about to panic because I couldn’t see anything at all but right that moment, everything brightened up and I found myself standing in an empty room which seemd to have no walls or even doors or furniture inside. Before I had any opportunity to think about the whole situation, something or someone appeared right next to me. It was Daron. Daron in Daron’s body.
“What the ...”. he started, then looked at me and touched his chest. “Hey, this hypnotizing – thing really seems to work out, huh?”
“Yeah ... it seems to ...”
“I’m afraid you’re wrong”, a tiny high voice said.
Daron and I turned round abruptly and faced a little white rabbit sitting in front of us.
“Did you just talk to us?”, I wanted to know, feeling stupid to ask something like that.
“Is there anyone else around here?”, the rabbit replied. “Of couse I was talking to you. I’m Rock’n’ Roll and I was sent here to help you.”
“No, man, that’s impossible!”, Daron said. “I killed you. You’re dead. I know you are.”
“I didn’t say I was not, did I?! You’re right, Daron. You killed me. And I hate you for that. I just came here to help you because of Serj. He’s a mighty magician and I owe him a favour.”
“But we’re already done”, I said, pointing at me and then at Daron. “We’re back in our bodies.”
“No, you’re not”, answered the rabbit and shook his head which looked very funny. “This is not what you call reality. This is an in-between world. What you see is not your bodies. It’s just your minds, being visualized for you. In your reality, nothing has changed.”
Daron shrug his shoulders. “I don’t get it.”
“He’s trying to say that we actually haven’t changed back”, I explained. “we still have to do it. But can you tell us how?”
“It’s so plain to see”, Rock’n’Roll replied. “I thought you were smarter and would find it out yourself. Can’t you see it? It’s all about love.”
“Haha”, Daron started, “I was right! Remember? I said we need to fuck. So come on, let’s do it!”
“You don’t get it”, the rabbit contradicted, “it’s not about fucking. It’s about love. L-O-V-E. Do you know what that means?”
Daron gazed at me and I responded his look. It was hard to understand what that dead animal was talking about. Love? Me and Daron?
“What can we do?”, I asked. “I mean, what can we really do? Practically?”
Rock’n’Roll sighed. “Really, I thought you were smarter. Not him, but you. Don’t you see it when you look into his eyes?”
“See what?”
“You are so similar to each other, the two of you. Maybe you don’t believe it, maybe you say you don’t know each other but I’m telling the truth. Your souls are like relatives – he’s your brother and and you are his sister.”
I shook my head and could hardly keep myself from laughing. If he had told me that about me and Serj, okay, but Daron?!?!?!
“That can’t be true! Of all fucking people in the world, he is supposed to be my ... no, that’s absolutely impossible! I mean, look at him! Do you know him? He’s insane!”
Daron giggled. He didn’t even seem to understand what was going on.
“Why don’t you look at him? Right into his eyes?!”, Rock’n’Roll purred behind me. “Take a close look, come on. Try it and you will see him.”
I faced Daron again. He had stopped smiling and responded my look. Our eyes locked and everything around us was quiet. I felt like getting lost in those big dark eyes and then, suddenly, I saw something. No, it was more like a feeling again but a very strong and convincing one. I felt a deep sympathy for this little man who always acted like he had gone crazy. I felt like I knew him. Really knew him.
“Oh yes”, I heard Rock’n’Roll whisper, “here we go ... come on, give him a hug. Show each other how you feel.”
I hesitated, then made a step forward, and Daron took me in his arms. I had been afraid that it might feel weird but surprisingly, it did not. It even felt kinda good and familiar.
When he let me go, we both smiled and I knew that he felt the same. He even gave me a kiss on the cheek without me freaking out like I had definitely done before.
“Congratulations”, the rabbit said afterwards, “finally you understood what this whole thing was about. I believe now you’re really ready to change back.”
“Great”, Daron said, “and how do we do that? I hope it’s easy, dude.”
“Oh don’t worry”, Rock’n’Roll replied, “it’s easy and fast, believe me. I’ve called someone who’s gonna assist me since I can’t finish it myself...”
Suddenly Shavo appeared, a silly grin on his face. Before I could ask what he was doing here, he grabbed Daron’s and my head and slammed them together with all his might. There was a big bang and everything turned black again.
Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:22 pm